I've been hearing a lot of commercials along the lines of, "We may be a pharmacy/hardware store/healthfood store/bowling alley... but you can get all of your holiday shopping done right here!" Even McDonald's has been pushing gift certificates. Now there's a way to show you care. "Merry Christmas, honey! Have some saturated fat!"

So, I'm starting to ponder taking them at their word. Maybe I should buy all of my presents for friends and family at the grocery store. I mean, who wouldn't want a dozen eggs nicely wrapped under the tree? Or a pound of butter? Nothing says I love you like a family sized jar of peanut butter.

I think the only tricky part would be in getting everything wrapped. You need to make sure that the jar of pickles of Aunt Clarice doesn't get broken, and that the frozen peas for Cousin Timmy don't thaw. Plus, not only do you have to keep the gallon of milk for Gramma Sue from spoiling, how do you wrap it without the shape giving it away?

This is going to be the best Christmas ever!!