Gretchen. My sister. My friend. My frequent, unpaid model. Until very recently, my roommate. The middle child, she is the bridge between my brother and I. She is our playmate and our sounding board. Our confidant and our torturer. (She's the one who borrows all our clothes!)
In her own words:
"A big phony. That's right. I am a kid trying to pass for an adult. A klutz trying to tap dance while carrying trays of steaming spaghetti. A regular Holly Golightly, drinking milk from a champagne glass and living out of a suitcase.
I'm not actually cool, though many believe that I am. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker (well...once upon a time when it suited me) You may wanna ask my close friends about the midnight toker part.....
I even have a fake name. I used to be Gretchen Olson, but now I'm Gretchen Hall. My hair color is bottle-bought. My teeth are fixed up. My boobies are pushed-up. My confident swagger I learned by watching my alter ego.....
Yup, I'm a phony. But I'm a real phony. Proud of who I am and whatI can be. Perfectionistic and critical. I am your best friend and your worst enemy if you don't watch your step. The life of the party. A big dumb dork. A half-demon (also known as a fallen angel). The most beautiful girl in the whole world...OR.. a walking "Before" picture.
This is who Gretchen really thinks she is. But only behind the safety net of a computer screen would I ever tell you this. If you asked me to my face, I would have to say:
"I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!!!" "
And tomorrow, she's the birthday girl.
Yes indeed, GretchyGretch turns 23 this Friday. If you happen to see her, buy her a drink or something.
